Okay, let's clear one thing up. By all means, we are not the classiest of broads. We like to steal garbage cans when our excellent landlords do not provide them, and cigarettes may as well be our best friends. But fuck, when shit is strange, we have to let the world know.
Guys, please figure it out. Your horrible game is paining me internally. Don't talk about the weather, and for fuck's sake please don't point out something obvious. I am not mentally retarded, I know what's going on around me. I have eyes and ears and pretty much all of the senses unless I have a couple drinks in me causing them to be a tad impaired, but all in all, your game sucks. Odds are, you are probably over-thinking the circumstances, well stop. I'm trying to get my dick wet just as much as the next chick, but if your game continues to suck, guess what honey, your hand is your new best friend. How is Stella supposed to get her groove back when you're talking to a brick wall of a dude? If you have the answer to this question, get back to us ASAP!! For example, when you walk into a bar looking like popped out of the screen off a Jersey Shore episode, especially when you aren't remotely Italian, I want nothing more than to punch you in the face. Leave the guido act to Pauly D and the Situation, because frankly it's not hot, and girls are not staring at you because they are completely taken by your auora, they think you look like a fucking idiot. Save it for Halloween, which obviously most of you did since the "Jersey Shore costume" was annoyingly prominent this year, tools. Further, just because you are good-looking definitely does not seal the deal. If you think you're hotter than me you're sadly mistaken. Unless you're a slutty whore, no girl is going to go for you just because you're easy on the eyes. Personality actually matters to some people, so get one. If I'm talking to a dipshit that looks like he's straight out of a Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue, No. Just no. If you're super insecure, I can tell. I don't want to talk to an awkward douche bag, do you? I doubt it. I smell fear like a dog. And God forbid, don't whisper sweet nothings into my ear and try to make out with me when I don't know who the fuck you are. Have you guys ever heard of a sense of humor? Make me laugh or something I don't know, rip on me so I'm not so clearly better than you. Girls like when you are nice to them obvs, but if you can't make me laugh I'm obviously bored. Believe it or not, girls actually like cool guys, but apparently your idea of cool is way different than ours. Because you're all fags as far as I'm concerned. Be confident, be sexy, be funny. It's not rocket science, silly boys. Until then, it's cig time.
PAYCE.
