Overly Nice People are Strange

Have you ever heard the expression, "Nice guys finish last"?  Yea?  Well it's because they fucking do.  And this goes for both sexes.  When's the last time you saw a super nice guy land the girl of his dreams or vise versa?  Probably never, and if by some crazy chance you have an exceptional story for me for this circumstance, it's more than likely bullshit.  The girl/guy was probably trying this weird phenomenon out only to realize in the end they want someone that's going to put them in their place.  You know, insult them a little, make them feel less than. 
Whether we, as girls, are willing to admit it or not, we like guys that are assholes.  Plain and simple.  Any girl that says, "I just want a nice guy to settle down with," is a blatant liar.  Who the fuck wants to date someone that will let you walk all over them and trample all over their heart?  That shit's boring as fuck.  I can't understand why anyone gives into the whole "nice" thing.  Do us all a favor and snap the fuck out of it, no one wants you to be an astoundingly nice person all the time because let's be honest, no one is actually that fucking nice.  As far as I'm concerned, someone who is nice all the time is a ticking time bomb about to Nagasaki all over your ass.
And girls that are overly nice are just as fucking annoying.  Grow a mother fucking back-bone and stand up for yourself.  If I am insulting you and saying how wrong you are, don't agree with me.  Tell me to fuck off and prove it or something I don't know.  No one likes the "nice person"  I'm not a fucking prick, but it's true.  Think about that person either in class, in your group of friends or at work, who is the nicest fucking clown that just tries to be loved.  Do you genuinely like that person?  Absolutely not.  Don't even lie to yourself, you know they are as annoying as trashy white people hanging out on street corners fighting with their baby mammas and ex bros and stuff.  Which speaking of, get a job, take care of your kids and get away from the fucking mini marts.
Anyways, nice people finish last for a reason.  Pull out your dick and piss on the world like everyone else is.  Join the party!

CLEO IS STRANGE!

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Love,
Cleopatra

Mom Haircuts are strange.

This little tid bit struck us as so odd the other day and I'm pretty sure we succeeded in carrying out a conversation for around ten whole minutes about it.  Mom haircuts... what the fuck.  First of all, my mom has a mom haircut so I'm not calling anyone's mom a douchebag or anything for having a mom haircut, I fucking love my mom.  Anyways, I just don't really understand why women reach a certain age and resort to cutting their hair to a dikey, butch sort of a thing.  As far as I'm concerned, I'm pretty sure throwing your hair in a ponytail is a hell of a lot easier than doing that weird half, fat curl thing you guys do and hairspraying the shit out of it.  I understand that it's all supposed to be about convenience and not wanting to fuck around with your hair when your kids are annoying the living hell out of you.  But hear me loud and clear, no one is going to hate on a ponytail.  If a ponytail portrays laziness on the mom's behalf, then whoever thinks this can go fuck themselves.  I mean, is long hair supposed to be given up at a certain age or something?  It sure as hell seems like it the way that mom haircuts are so prevalent these days.  It's like once these women reach a certain age they call up their friends like, "Fuckkk, it's mom haircut time girls.  I gotta cut my hair off today, society said so," at which point their friends are like "Yea, my mom haircut days are approaching quickly ughhh."    Let me add in that I'm aware some girls like their hair at a short length, but obviously that's not what I'm talking about so don't try that shit.  I'm talking about how so many women between the ages of 40- and on have the same general haircut.  I just want some fucking answers explaining this phenomenon.  Until that happens I'm forever boycotting the shit out of the mom haircut.  I will stand my ground!

PS- A big thanks to those who took their time out to leave nice little comments on the previous blog, nice and hateful.  Incase you haven't noticed, the blog is titled "Strange Shenanigans", it's not supposed to be of any importance or relevance.  It's merely us bitching about things we find funny.  You say blogging is not our thing as if you know a thing or two about it, but your repetitive insult of "dumb, ugly whores" hardly does you any justice.  Nice touch with the all-caps too, we were really shook with those frightening capitalized letters.  Thanks for obviously reading our stuff, however, and adding in your angry 2 cents as if we give a fuck.  If this is so bothersome to you, hop off our website. 

It's Strange How Obsessed You Are With Charlie Sheen

As everyone in the world knows, Charlie Sheen is off his fucking rocker, which is all cool and dandy and shit.  Now I haven't been paying too much attention to it, but basically he got famous and funny, did a bunch of drugs and lives with porn-stars he calls his angels, right?  Act like you wouldn't do the same exact shit if you were Charlie Sheen.  He is old and ugly and isn't gonna get much farther in life, so why not fuck everything up and get mass publicity.  I mean yeah he says some fucking funny shit and sounds like a complete jackass, which I guess makes all you assholes feel better about your insignificant and boring lives, but quit embellishing your vocabulary with Charlie Sheen's phrases.  Just because he can say "winning" and sound hilarious, doesn't mean you can! You are most definitely losing because you can't come up with your own one-liners, and also because your a huge douche trying to be a rock star, and epically failing.

I was most disappointed when I saw this on TMZ's website...

(TMZ) Sources at South Shore Tattoo in Amityville tell TMZ -- the artist responsible is a guy named Mike Nomy ... who implanted the tiger ink inside an unidentified customer on Wednesday.

WHAT THE FUCK????  Sometimes you just have to step back, think about what the fuck you are about to do, maybe ask some opinions of others, and stop.  Just stop.  You are a giant fucking loser with no life, probably no girlfriend and apparently no standards. Good luck digging yourself out of the enormous hole you just put yourself in by getting a fucking tattoo like that.  Congratulations, you win the award for most pathetic person in the entire world...more pathetic than Charlie Sheen, more pathetic than the china man in the previous post, and more pathetic than Lindsay Lohan and Brittney Spears.  All in all, you blow more chunks than 17 year old bulimic hollywood stars.

If you find yourself trying to use "winning" in real life, just go cry yourself to sleep because you are lamer than the dudes that go tanning and wear Affliction.  

Charlie Sheen, you my friend can rock on.

China Men Are Strange!

And this is exactly why I think china men are so fucking strange!  I'm sure he's a real babe magnet over in whatever fucked up town he lives in.

Foot Fetishes= Straaaaaange.

I just don't get it nor will I ever want to understand what it is that draws people into foot fetishes.  Ew, mother fucker.  People's feet are disgusting.  A friend of mine went to a hair academy and had to learn a segment on pedicures, which led to countless stories about the horrors of people's feet.  There is just an entire array of things that can go wrong with your feet such as blisters, ingrown toenails, bunions, and I'll just stop there so I don't make you vom in your mouth.  I feel bad getting pedicures by licensed professionals simply doing their job and my feet are beautiful, obviously.  But for some people to suck on toes and shit, you my friend, need to quit it.  You're begging for a foreign disease and your morals are pretty jacked up if you want to put someone's smelly ass toes in your mouth.  People walk around all fucking day on those things, enveloped in socks and worn shoes that probably consumed sweat a time or two; OR even worse, they're walking around their house barefoot collecting dirt and dust and other gross particles along the way.  And people think it's okay to just let that shit marinade in their own mouth??? That, to me, is appalling.  Find a new fetish to get caught up in freaks, because I'm pretty sure I speak for a lot of people (females mainly) when I say if a guy tried to grab my foot and put that shit in his mouth I'd kick him straight in the shnoz and not think twice about it.  Then, I might even mortal combat kick his face so that he got the point.
While I'm at it, has anyone ever seen the show Strange Addictions?  Toilet paper eating?  Body building shemales? Glass swallowing?   Yea, I'd say you guys are pretty fucking strange too.  To tell me and all the other viewers that you eat half a roll of toilet paper a day because you like the way "it sort of melts in your mouth" is preposterous.  So does cotton candy, trick.  Everyone knows that so eat something that tastes good and melts in your mouth, for the love of God save us from cringing at you.  Toilet paper is for asses not for consumption. 
I tell you some humanbeings just gross me the fuck out.  Why they are putting these disgusting shenanigans on TV is beyond me but I get it that Americans love the shit out of taboo-ness.  Either way, I think they all need to find a new hobby.  Knitting is cool I guess, go knit a nice sweater.  But for fuck's sake keep the toes out of your grill it's just wrong. 

SF Is Way Strange

While adventuring to San Francisco we came across some super strange fucking people, places, foods and events.  Watch and be shocked.

So this occurred on valentines day.  Yes, I think its a dumb holiday, but hey for those in happy fucking relationships it works out pretty well.  Now for these poor souls who are clearly bitter and sexually frustrated, they choose to beat the shit out of each other with pillows.  This was, by far, the biggest pillow fight I have ever seen.  I was completely bewildered.  I mean they obviously don't have dates that night, and honestly I don't think rocking people with pillows is exactly the way to go to find a date.  Maybe a couple people found each other and hooked up out of pity for one other.  In that case, you go get you some, pity or not.  Sock on!

cigs were $7 there!