First off- Why must we introduce ourselves to the entire classroom and tell everyone our major. No one fucking cares, and I most likely will not speak a word to more than 3 of my classmates. I don't give a flying fuck what the most interesting fact is about everyone. We are all the same, no one is remotely interesting, and if by chance I have something interesting to say it probably is not classroom appropriate. So teachers, for the love of god, stop making me stand up and ramble on about my insanely average self. I hate, and so does everyone else fucking listening to me. Unless you are a super conceited douche and think your the coolest mother fucker to roam the planet, you probably love the attenion..whore.
Second point- Everyone knows the first day of class you pick a seat, and you stay there. Especially by the time you're in your fourth year of college. You hopefully sit next to a cool dude and make friends to cheat off of. But when you walk in to class, and your seat is taken, what the fuck? All I want to say is, what the fuck bitch, get out of my seat you look like a pumpkin! It's like an unwritten code, don't take my seat.
Pop quizzes? What am I 10 years old? Just fucking tell me what to study so that I excel in your class instead of cursing your name under my breath every other day and counting down the days 'till I can blow you up on the teacher evaluation. Trust me that I will write with every ounce of desperation in my body to whom ever may be listening that you fucking blow because you give pop quizzes and downright ruin my day. Don't you hear the undertone of the class just fucking sigh when the words 'pop quiz' escape your mouth? Get off your high horse with your little surprise quizzes, they make me want to vom all over the piece of paper and turn it into you.
Another thing that really just irritates me is when a teacher decides they want me to "participate" and therefore calls on me when my hand is not even raised. No, I don't want to answer the fucking question actually. I am 21 years old, and for fucks sake I don't need you to make me participate when I don't want to. Take points off my participation grade if you want, I couldn't care less.
What's even worse is when they tell you to participate with OTHER PEOPLE. In case you haven't noticed, I don't take class with all of my best friends because my major is pretty lame and only correlates to what I'm interested in. Therefore, I'd much rather sit here with a pisspants look on my face, and be as anti-social as humanly possible. I'm not here to make friends people, I'm here to make you shut the fuck up about attending class and get these credits out of my hair so I can graduate and throw up a big middle finger to the entire ideal of education. I go to school because it's what you're supposed to do in regards to what is socially acceptable, not because I actually like to learn. Fuck learning. I learned everything I need to know in high school-- drinking is cool and get good grades so your parents can't bitch at you for anything. Reading and writing was out the door about ten years ago so college, you're pretty much a big fat waste of money. Stop making me force myself to be nice to these people around me who probably don't want to waste their breath on me either. It's irritating, and if only I withheld the precision to dart my pencil strait into the retina of your eye to suppress my anger, you better believe I would Professor whatever-the-fuck-your-name-is.
Your class is the reason I'm frowned upon as the person who lights a cigarette as soon as I step foot out the door. Yet, I have no shame.
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