Have you ever noticed how once all of the leaves have fallen from the trees and that cruel coldness sets in, the overall mood of everyone just.. changes? Your tan has faded, leaving your skin with a sad, pastey hue unless you're a lucky SOB who has some beautiful ethnic DNA in their gene pool and is blessed with never-ending golden skin-- I say to you, I envy you, but go fuck yourself. Mother Nature turns into a fugly biotch considering everything is brown and dead. The snow is pretty but it's also fucking freezing and unless you're someone with an undying love for snow sports (aka you're actually good at them) the snow is just another reason to get pissed off. Everyone drives like they've either got their temps or they're 99 years old, and inevitably fuck up their cars. Plans get messed up because everyone in town is flipping their shit about the snow and blowing the entire situation out of proportion by viscously rading the grocery stores and staying imprisoned in their homes. This, my friends, is seasonal affective disorder, which abbreviated (thank you Dr. Vollman) is SAD. Point. Proven.
Take notice next time you courageously escape the boundaries of your home every person's face that you pass. It portrays nothing but pure and utter misery. Either that, or you don't actually see their face because it's hidden behind layers of clothing to suppress the arctic wind. It's true. Every day I can't help but notice behind tear-filled eyes, due to the sting of the wind, the hatred and/or sadness on everyone's face on campus. And whether you're willing to admit it or not, you sometimes find yourself saying "Oh my GOD!" out loud at how terribly cold it is, and then proceeding to curse the weather inside your head, throwing in a few "fuck this"'s here and there. No matter how melodramatic it seems, I often find myself wanting to just give up on life. To simply stop in my tracks, collapse on the ground and just let the good Lord take me because I cannot go on with the coldness any longer. When the wind is smacking you in the face repeatedly on your nice little stroll, the thought enters my mind no matter what. It may only las a few seconds, but it never fails to cross my mind. Then, you kind of realize you're being a pussy and you probably undressed, and gloriously keep on truckin'.
The sad part is, you can't even really call it glorious upon arriving to your destination because once you get there you're still not happy. It's not like instant happiness overtakes your body and soul, no. You still waltz in, throw your shit down, and immediately start complaining to whoever will listen about how angry the weather just made you and how fucking cold it is outside. It never fails, seasonal depression is everywhere and in everybody whether you decide to advertise it or not. I mean think about it. You wake up in the morning, you already know it's cold out so you don't have a beautiful day to look forward to. If Mr. Sunshine ever decides to make an appearance, which is rare, that's pretty cool but can sometimes be misleading. You almost get mad at the sun too. Yea, you're brightening my life right now but you're not making me any fucking warmer. You're just reminding me that summer is still half a year away and you just popped in to say hi and then disappear for another month or two so fuck you sun! There's no animals outside besides birds, but of course they're not even singing because they're too cold. The squirrels hardly even come out! Your house is probably still pretty cold because no one feels like paying an assload of money on their heating bill. People get fatter because they don't do anything besides bitch and eat.
It just strikes me as such an odd phenomenon. For a straight 3, give or take, months everyone in cold atmospheres are, for the most part, miserable. I'm pretty sure a lot of people agree with me that the only great thing about winter is you can get out of a lot of obligations because of snow. You can blame a lot of shit on snow and people just don't ask questions, they just accept it. Other than that, whether this is horrible or not, I'm on team Global Warming all the way. I like warm, warm everything. Next time you want to complain in the summer about it being too hot, think about this day. Think about how much you despise everything right now, and then expect to be socked square in the face.. by me.
Until beautiful spring time rolls around, feel free to bitch up a storm you seasonal depressed mother fuckers, because you know everybody else is. Ain't no shame in it anymore. Until then, cig time-- out the window of course.
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