Working at an ever classy establishment on short vine, (For those of you who aren't familiar with short vine) I witness a lot of crazy shit every time I work. Now keep in mind I am a 21 year old white girl, and the bar I work at is majority black. No big deal, I have been working there for a year so obviously I can manage.
So basically 86% of the customers are regulars, which means I know almost everyone that lives on or around short vine because they love mother fucking good fellows, it's their shit. You can imagine when I first started working there, being a young white girl, people tried to fuck with me. Okay, first of all I'm not fucking scared of you. Yes, you may be an older black man with tattoos all over, but your not fucking scary, and if you were I would not be working here. Quit fucking with me. It's not funny--your not scary--and I know your trying to be funny. Oooh cool you can fuck with a young white girl to try to impress your friends, real fucking classy. This one man, probably around 43 (will remain nameless) has 2 tear drop tattoos, among others. Mister, why are you crying? Are you sad? So to make a long story short, one fine evening after a number of tangs and brews, he tells me he as seen me in winton terrace. Uhhhhhh great ya fucking creep now I can never go to the hausfelds house again! This other clown is such an arrogant ass hole and feels the need to ask why I have an attitude. Bitch, you are the reason I have an attitude. I can't fucking stand you, and you know it. Also you have no two front teeth! This is not a joke people, he does not have his front teeth, and for some un-fucking-known reason he thinks he is a pimp. No. And I can't leave out the dick who, when I went around picking up empty glasses said "hey, I don't like white people touching my drinks" The bartender was white, so really you have fucking issues. And the glass is empty, so I know your fucking with me. I would also appreciate it if you would not call me things such as "miss lady, mama, baby, hey you, sa-vaughn-uh" Thanks. Now don't get me wrong, there are a lot of people that are super sweet who I love seeing every sunday. Especially the ones who are nice AND tip well. They are awesome and actually really really funny. Your the best!
I work with some really cool black girls (I am the only white one), and there are a lot of cool regulars I know, but seriously there are some fucking caddy bitches that come to the GFels. I am not your bitch. I mean I kind of am because I have to clean up after your grimy ass, but you do not have to take advantage of the fact that I'm your bitch. Clean up your shit. There are garbage cans for a reason you cunt. And if you are over 200 pounds, do not wear your fucking stilettos into this establishment. Somewhat because it looks super fucking strange, but mostly because you literally make dents in the hard wood floor, which is why it looks like shit. If your skinny and looking fabulous, you go ahead and do your thing girl, but if not save yourself the embarrassment and wear flat shoes and clothes that cover your cottage cheese. And speaking of cottage cheese, this one night a 50 year old, 50 wearing velour short ass shorts and a tank top clearly displaying her sagging tits, thinks it is a good idea to dance on top of the bar. As you can imagine, this sight disgusted me. Her entire body was literally flopping around like a tub of jello--a big tub. While this is going on, it for some reason encourages other younger girls to get on the bar to prove they were better dancers...it was a complete disaster. Meanwhile, the bartender is wasted and instigating the situation, and the man with no 2 front teeth gave these 10 year olds (why they were in a bar at midnight with their wasted parents is beyond me) dollar bills to throw at the whores. Two people fell off the bar that night, one being the jiggly old lady, which was definitely my fault she fell off, but that story's for another time and place. And that is when I decided to never again work a friday or saturday night. Okay, enough about whores. You get the point, my job is fucking nuts every single day. There are plenty of perks which I don't think should be discussed at this moment, but basically what I'm saying is I have a love/hate relationship with good fellows. One perk being that every sunday I can count on gip and annie to come eat and hang out for a little, so now they are regs too. And it is always a surprise when they bring a different person to join in the festivities and introduce to a whole new world, a dazzling place they never knew. So if your looking for new horizons to pursue, take a gander over to short vine and stop in good fellows to holla at ya girl. (make sure it's a sunday)
Now to step in to the freezing cold winter wonderland...BOO WINTER.
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