As we go back and ponder over what today has entailed, we cannot fathom being more content with the way things played out. It was not only the strangest Sunday I've yet to experience, but it was hands down one of the most fun and memorable days to date. I sit here with a smug smile on my face as the day comes to a close. Let me break it down for you.
We woke up abnormally early this morning with plans of going to the Bengals game. Usually our Sundays consist of waking up whenever that may be, while Vanstar departs for work around noon or really any time remotely close to that because, essentially, Pops is her bitch along with the entire facility of Good Fellows. Once we awake, we decide to ease our hangover with pepperoni baseballs and cheese fries, and once this is done we lounge and partake in other bum-tastic activities. However, today we got up around 10:00 AM and got ready for the Bengals game and went downtown to our friend's older sister's tight ass apartment. For lack of better words, "tight ass" is really the only way to describe this place because it's exactly what it was. There was free beer, skyline dip, along with a huge window that opens up to a balcony overlooking downtown Cincinnati, and is only about a hop, skip and a jump away from Paul Brown Stadium. We drank as we pleased, had Alli uphold her side of the bet for passing out first at our latest party which involved taking a buttery-nipple shot Vanstar snagged for free at a random gas station (what?), and soaked up feeling like celebrities for a little while until we left for the game.
Our seats were conveniently placed right in front of these fantastic old men, who happened to be just as perverted as we are, and had a never ending supply of hand-warmers that they were constantly pulling out of their ass to give to us because I guess we looked slightly pathetic. Whatever, they were awesome, pouring flasks into their pop bottles and everything, aka our lives in 30 years. The strangest aspect, however, of the Bengals game was that they won beating the browns 19-17, which shouldn't be as surprising as it is, but anyone can beat the shitty Bengals these days. So we were pretty hyped about that, obviously justifying their win with our presence at the stadium as good luck charms. Obviously. It's really strange how we bitched about buying beers for $7.25, while still continuing to do so hoping that the old men would buy them for us. Never happened. Hell of a run, money, see ya later!
After the game, we dropped off our friends Alli and Eric, while honking this really funny-sounding horn for a little, all the while pissing our pants at the sound until we snapped out of it. A few of us went straight to Good Fellows considering we were starving from lack of food, and got free beers. Score! Next thing we know, we're hanging out in the back of the kitchen by the fryers with our Canadian friend, Johnny, who let us partake in Canadian activities with him resulting in uncontrollable giggles. Once we finally exited the secret kitchen party, it suddenly dawned upon us that we needed to get out of there asap. We were in no shape or form to be in public any longer, and it was time to go. However, we did make a pit-stop at Kroghetto for Zanzabar to pick up $9.00 cookies for her work party, but we couldn't go in at all until we chilled out and let the giggles reside. You would've thought it was our first rodeo at this point. It was kind of sick how much fun we were having as just the three of us. Slightly embarrassing, yet I have no shame.
Once we finally reached our house and final destination, our minds were a little blown and slightly confused from all of the activities we had just taken part in, and we said no words. Instead, we sat here in silence until we all drifted off into naps, inevitably watching the same exact shows over and over. Again, next thing I know, I'm waking up at the same time as Vanstar and Annie is returning from her work party even more trashed than before. We concluded our day with a midnight dinner from Taco Bell, and with big plans of being strange money-makahs come tomorrow. If that's not outstanding, I don't know what is. Be jealous, large audience, be really fucking jealous.
Ciiiiiig and goodnight!
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