I don't care who you are, you know that the library is a place where no one fucking talks. Every movie or TV show scene that takes place in a library, whether you like it or not, there's some bitch in glasses saying "Shhhhh!" Yea, you do not speak in the library. Well, that's funny because it seems as though every time I wander into UC's library, no matter which one it is, someone is sure as fuck not being quiet. Whether it be a cell phone text tone going off every 20 seconds, a nerdy foreign kid playing some sort of whacky dork game on the computer, WITH THE SOUND ON mind you, or someone just plain out talking in my ear. I cannot win, I tell you. The noise follows me I'm convinced, and today was the worst.
I was simply trying to get in and out of the library to type this paper real quick and nimble, so naturally I go to the smallest, quietest one thinking I'm gonna tackle this bitch like it's no one's business and go on with my day. I get the only available computer, give a little secret fist pump and get to work. So it's going well, it's quiet, i'm typing insanely faster than normal and I'm feeling great when suddenly, the kid in the computer across from the girl sitting next to me strikes up a conversation. "Do you play a sport," he asks (which, umm are you serious, nice line buddy). She laughs coyly and says no, and this doesn't annoy me because I brushed him and his douchey convo starter-off and went on with my paper. Ten minutes later, "Are you sure you're not some sort of athlete, I swear I've seen you somewhere." Dude, come on, she said she doesn't play a sport; I'm pretty fucking sure that means she's not an athlete considering they mean the same thing, plus I'm also pretty sure that she's not confused about your silly little question. AGAIN, she says no. He asks her name, she tells him, and he immediately looks her up on facebook, while sitting right there. What? I couldn't believe what I was seeing, then again I tried not to make this obvious considering I'm the one that this conversation doesn't involve. But seriously, if that were me I'd probably just peace out right then and there. Fucking weirdo. But she's cool with it and he goes on and on about how he just can't figure out where he knows her from. He tells her his name, and she's clearly not really interested but for the sake of being polite she looks him up on facebook too ( I don't know I didn't understand this at all). His picture pops up and he's a football player, which he obviously wanted her to find out so that she'd be impressed. Mind you, I'm trying to conceal my laughter while trying to finish this paper as quickly as possible so that I don't have to sit through another minute of this painful scene unfolding in front of me. The conversation continued awkwardly for a little bit, which I eventually blocked out because I was just annoyed that this kid wouldn't shut the fuck up. Finally, I'm finishing up my paper, adding some last minute touches, and he types her name in his phone and hands it over top of her computer asking, "Is this how you spell your name?" She says yes and that was it. Hahaha, dude just ask for her number. That little tricky gesture obviously got you nowhere, and for what? To annoy everyone around you trying to get their shit done? You make my blood boil.
Listen, if you're trying to spit some game or whatever that's cool. I'll even be your wing girl if you want, but don't fucking do it in the library. No one goes to the library solely to pick up on the opposite sex, and if you do..... yikes. I can hear the porch calling my name already.
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