I am a sports girl at heart, whether it comes to playing or watching I'm all about athletics. Now everyone has their favorite sport to watch and play, mine is basketball hands down(as if you care.) There are, however, a couple sports I can't stand. Golf for example, how the fuck to people find it enjoyable? I mean don't get me wrong racing in those little carts would be almost as fun as shooting ginger midgets with a bb gun- not that I know from experience. I can kind of understand that people like to play it, I don't personally but I guess everyones in to some weird shit. But how the fuck do you d bags find it enjoyable to watch? Don't act like you can actually see where the ball goes after dude hits it, because you can't. That's really all I have to say about golf. I think it's the sport people play who aren't remotely athletic and they just want to be good at something.
Volleyball might be one of the most fun sports to play, but watching it physically burns my retinas. (unless it's kelsey playing because she is a mofo bad ass) I don't really know where to start, but I guess the spandex will do. GIRLS-while the majority of your fans are probably creepy old men or creepy younger dudes, the rest of the average people there don't want to see your cooch. I don't need to be able to see your entire ass, including the hand print from the tool who smacked you around last night--loosey goosey. I know, you have to sprawl around and move quick, but why, why , why is it necessary to have your spandex up your asshole. You have slutier uniforms than the cheerleaders, and thats just wrong! And speaking of looking slutty, do you really need to have your diva makeup on before every game? You come on to the court looking like clowns. It's not a fashion show, maybe if you concentrated more on practicing instead of getting glamorized for the game you would have a winning record. What with your little braids and hair ribbons, you look 12. And we all know 12 is an ugly age so yes, that was an insult. Okay, so if your really good at volleyball I can get over these peeves because once your that good, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Now lets pretend you are watching the superior sport, basketball. When a team scores a basket, what happens? Think...hmm..oh I don't know run to get into defensive position. This seems normal, right? You don't see the team jumping up and down in a little circle screaming like they just won the state championship. Then why on fucking earth do volleyball teams feel the need to excessively celebrate after every fucking point. You still have 24 more points to score, the ass slapping and hugging can wait. If the bengals can't celebrate after a touchdown (which, lets be honest, doesn't happen very often) then how come volleyball teams can go nuts after every point, EVERY point. They play best 3 out of 5, to 25 or 26 I don't know, so you have to sit through a minimum of 75 ass slapping huddles. Now, if your a dude or dyke you might find this concept enjoyable. I don't. I saw more ass slaps at kelsey's senior game than Fes(that 70s show anyone?) has seen in all the pornos he watches. I just don't get it, score a point and get ready to score another one. A majority of the time you look like men flexing your muscles when homegirl gets a block or kill. Good for her, but that shits expected, it's how you win games. No one gets that hype when a free throw is made, not even a 3 pointer. Clowns, clowns I tell you. I think a simple high five would work just fine, hell I'd even accept a fist bump. So next time your considering acting like a fool, just remember what you look like through someone else's eyes. I'm sure all you volleyball players have a few things to say about this, so feel free to explain these unknown phenomena's to me, I would love to hear your reasoning. But I don't give a what what, you still look more lesbian than the US softball team, just pretty lesbians rather than butch ones.
holy hell, I need a cig.
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