So your driving to clifton and you already know how shitty the parking situation is. You start driving around the side streets just praying for an open spot with a lot of room on each side. Then you spot it, an open spot not too far away from where you are going to be galavanting around. But then you notice, some douchebag didn't pull up far enough so your gonna have to squeeze your shit into a tiny ass spot. Alright, you got this, you have paralleled a thousand times before, but this time you have 2 other people in the car, and naturally there is a car behind you with mass babes waiting for you to get out of the way. And you blow it. Maneuvering back and forth 12 times like Austin Powers, and you look as dumb as you feel while everyone is staring making fun of you. It kills me to see how many people do not understand the concept of parallel parking. Retards, its not that hard. I don't care how big or small your car is, it should never take you more than 10 seconds to pull in to a spot. If it does, you suck. Because I'm feeling extra nice today, I am going to tell you how to park without looking like a complete ass hole. It may even impress those of the opposite sex around you, and you might get laid that night. I even included a diagram!
Step 1. Pull up to car 1 almost exactly next to it.
Step 2. Cut your wheel (using this example) just about as hard as you can to the right.
Step 3. While reversing, use your left side mirror and keep going until you see the headlights of car 2.
Step 4. Cut your wheel really hard to the left, and ease in and straighten out as you see fit, depending on how close you are to each car.
Step 5. Thats it! Now your ballin outrageous.
So next time you need to parallel, remember these 5 simple steps. Save yourself time and embarrassment, because honestly I can't bear to watch another person suck at parking. It's strange.
Now I'm going to smoke a cig and watch this clown try to park. Maybe I'll help him.
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