It's Strange How You Are Always On Your Cell Phone

First let me admit, I love my iphone. I really really do, and I understand all you people who also love your cell phones.  As a society, we would be mother fucking lost without our digital connections.  What, with our facebook and twitter and texting, and even walkie talkie-ing, aren't we just technologically savvy.  But one thing that really makes me super fucking pissed is when people use their cell phones at the most inappropriate times.

Okay, let me be a diva for just one second..if you come up to my fucking counter or bar to order food from me, you tell that person your on the phone with to hold on one hot second so you can order your chicken waangs.  I don't really give a flaming fuck what Bon Qui Qui did last night, or who is pregnant, or which player played your ass.  Get off your phone.  I will not stand there and wait for your phone conversation to finish.  I will walk away and get other shit done and make you wait for me.  Also if you are ordering food from me, hear your phone ring, AND answer it and tell me to hold on, you are just a shameless dick.  I hate you.  You better believe I am moving on to the next customer.   If you are in my fucking sales room, you put that shit on silent.  Why are you gonna answer your phone just to tell that person that you have to call them back.  You are only pissing that person off, because obviously they need something, but you choose to tease them by answering your phone, only to basically hang up on them again.  Just hater button that shit.  And if you answer it and decide to have a full fucking conversation then you might just be one of the most rude people on planet Earth.  Everyone, just put your phone away when someone is waiting on you.

Another time you should not be on your phone is while you are at dinner with either a) a date. b) all your best friends. c) important people from work.  d) anyone else you feel is somewhat important.  Of course, there are always exceptions to this rule, like if you are trying to signal to your friends to save you from the disaster of a date you are on, or making plans for the evening.  Let's say you go to eat at a nice place with your best friends.  Why are you sexting your life away?  All your friends are with you, who could you be texting?  and why do they matter more than your friends?  They don't, so quit being a chach.

Listen, there are plenty of times that it is acceptable to be chatting on your mobile, but sometimes just take a look around and realize you are acting like a jackass.  If you are the only one with a phone out, you should probably put it away.  Use a little common sense people!

And please don't answer your phone to tell me you have to call me right back.  I'd rather it go to voicemail.

balcony.